I've always been a pretty positive person, but after finding out about the endometriosis and the pain and emotional toll it took on me, I kind of lost my strength. The diagnosis was quick, after one and a half year of trying to get pregnant without success, I was really sick for about two months. An MRI revealed two small endometriomas. I didn't want to have surgery, and after seeing two surgeons who didn't give me the trust I needed, I decided to try alternative treatments. Acupuncture, changes in diet, avoiding gluten and dairy, taking supplements. It was one year filled with anxiety, fears, silent suffering and every month the same dreaded question: Am I pregnant? If not, am I going to be in pain again? My strength was shaken... It was a roller coaster... months when I was in so much pain it was debilitating, and months when I felt fine. In January 2017 I had the worst pain ever. I felt helpless, like I was going to die, and after that I said enough! The very next day I saw a doctor who suspected a ruptured endometrioma. In one week I was in the OR. What took me a year to decide, was decided for me in only one week. Thank God I found a specialist whom I trusted. There was a risk I could lose both ovaries. During pre-op examinations it was found that both my ovaries had endometriomas 6 times bigger than the year before.
The surgery went smoothly and it was a success. The doctor keep both my ovaries, and removed endo from bowel, bladder, ureters, hypogastric nerve, appendix and even found endo on my diaphragm (removal from this one was not possible).
Recover from laparoscopy was easy. No pain, only mild discomfort. Now I started a 6 month treatment with Zoladex and I feel my strength coming slowly back, day by day. I also started psychotherapy as I believe that endometriosis takes a big emotional toll, probably affecting us the same both physically and emotionally.
My fight goes on... I'm 35 years old and still dream of becoming a mother. Right now I'm more focused on myself, trying to understand what the lesson is, what do I need to learn with endometriosis. Pain makes you grow. Maybe a few years down the road I'll become a better person, maybe a better mother. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm stronger than endo!